There are endless discussions about marriage in the church and the culture around us. Different voices try to answer questions like the purpose and meaning of marriage, the roles in marriage, the secrets to a happy marriage etc. it is safe to say that we are generally in love with the concept of marriage, but we are not quite up for the challenge and the hard work that marriage requires. Many of us have been primarily influenced by the fairy tale stories of marriage and the Hollywood fictional portraits of undisturbed bliss and unceasing romance in marriage.
Knowing the hard work marriage requires and the many lessons people learn in marriage, sometimes the lessons are learnt the hard way, I asked a group of couples to share one lesson they have learnt in their marriage. Here are the 15 lessons the couples shared.
1. I have learnt to love unconditionally irrespective of the situation
2. I have learnt to consciously remember that my husband and I are on the same team whatever game life brings along
3. I have learnt to be more gracious in speech, attitudes and deeds towards my spouse knowing that God has been too gracious to me as well.
4. I have learnt to be patient and tolerant.
5. Admitting and confessing my wrongs - Admitting my imperfections does not mean am a failure, but means that I am human and willing to accept my humanity which leads to a growing marriage.
6. I have learnt that communication is key - once there is good, honest, timely communication in a marriage, a lot of misunderstandings are avoided.
7. To be humble and honest
8. To be accountable fully and entirely in everything to another person.
9. I have learnt to forgive my friend as Christ has forgiven me, for we are both sinners and imperfect.
10. To maintain a deep love and underlying connection with each other despite surface differences or disagreements. (Staying on the same team no matter what).
11. I have learned to practice forgiveness towards my spouse and using prayer as one way of resolving issues in a godly manner.
12. Privately praying for him and praying and studying God's word together helps us to grow together.
13. To communicate with each other openly when there is a conflict and to not delay that communication, even when the issue might seem small.
14. I've learnt that a disagreement (no matter how huge) doesn't have to mean the marriage has ended. You can argue and still work things out & live happily thereafter.
15. I have learnt never to forget that my wife and I are redeemed sinners prone to wonder. This helps me to learn to forgive and forbear with her wrongs.
What are your lessons?
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